that girl you just called a slut? she had sex four times in the past twenty-four hours, each time with someone of a different gender. that boy you just made fun of for crying? he cries every single day because he’s a lame-ass. that girl you just called ugly? she’s actually a goblintroll that lives under a bridge and it was her first day out
a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?
omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that
my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad